


pools

by rosasdeesperanca



Series: song series [1]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Erik Has Feelings, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, M/M, but he doesn’t known what to do with those, lost puppies, they are in love your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 16:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19380886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosasdeesperanca/pseuds/rosasdeesperanca
Summary: charles and erik are friends with benefits, well except are you supposed to be in love with the person you casually have sex with?(inspired by pools by nikki)





	pools

it was 2 a.m when charles received a text from erik “did i hurt you last time?” charles frowned, “trust him to find the problem that isn’t there.” he thought to himself. he answered “no” then 5 seconds later “why?” erik was fast to answer, which surprised charles. erik only answered fast when he wanted to have sex. that was new. and the answer surprised him even more “we haven’t seen each other in 10 days, i was just wondering if i did something wrong...i was in the moment last time” that he was, charles agreed. really really in the moment. he decided to play flirty, just because he could “why, you miss me?” he smiled to himself, yes he could play a little after all the nights he felt super sad, alone in his room thinking about how he could never be with the person he loved. he could allow himself a little game. 

but erik surprised him once again by saying “yes” direct. a few seconds after “what is happening? it’s not about the sex. we just don’t see each other at all. are you avoiding me?” and right there, charles’ heart broke. it wasn’t fair to erik, before the whole benefits was added, they were friends. close friends. and yes, since they started having sex, things had been...different. and charles had come to the realisation that he had proper feelings for erik. but it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t blame this on him. he didn’t force this, they were drunk, did it once. then both decided to make it casual sex. except it wasn’t casual for charles. not at all. 

he was lost in thoughts when he received another message “are you seeing someone? distancing yourself? you can tell me.” charles looked at his phone with big eyes for at least a minute. he really was clueless. “why would i be seeing someone???” he was actually stopping himself on the questions marks. “because you can” was the direct answer he got. “well, i don’t.” he replied, as fast and as directly. “then, what’s the matter?”  
charles sighed and brought his hands to his face thinking “i’m so not ready for this conversation” he was typing “listen, it’s late and” when he received “i’m coming”  
he instantly replied “what?!?!” he was gasping and was thankful to be alone because he looked pretty much like a fish right now. “you heard me right. i needed to walk, too anxious. i’ll be here in five minutes.” 

charles’ head was a mess. he was a mess. it was 2:30 in the fucking morning. he cried an hour ago watching a stupid rom com, there were 3 cups of tea (one still half full) around him and he was wearing pajama shorts with bloody baby bears on it. he. was. not. fucking. ready. “okay calm down.” he told himself. he cleaned the room a bit, put on a white t-shirt, checked himself in the mirror, his eyes were still a bit red but this would have to do. erik knocked on the door, all charles had to say when he saw him was “God, i forgot it was raining! erik, you’re soaked!” when he tried to take his jacket, it was like an electric shock. “it’s been 10 days, get yourself together!!” he told himself but erik was already on him, kissing in earnest. and okay it felt good, incredibly good to be honest. but he had to remind himself, which issue he actually dealt with for the last weeks. it had to stop. so he did stop the kiss, erik still holding on his shoulders like he couldn’t stand on his own yet. “i really hope you didn’t come for that” erik only sighed and let go of him. “no, i didn’t. i came to talk. i’m going to dry off in your bathroom.” before he went to his bathroom’s door, charles told him to wait, he got him a t-shirt from their university and pajama pants with pingouins on it. he really ought to buy less ridiculous (yet cute) nightwear. 

erik slightly smirked when he saw the pants but didn’t say anything. when erik reappeared, he was the cutest thing charles had ever seen. not that he would ever tell him. the pants were, well, way too tight but he still wore it well. he noticed he was standing there. not moving. “please erik, just sit.” charles said as he softly tapped on the bed. erik sat, his hands awkwardly resting on his thighs. “why do you have to be so bloody gorgeous?” charles thought. but he said “you’re sure you want to talk? it’s rather late and well you look tired.” absolutely wrecked would be the right word. and not in a drunken way. “no no, i have to say it now.” erik replied in a hurry. “well i’m listening.” charles said patiently. because he was, he didn’t think he was ready to hear what erik had to say. “it was easier in my head.” erik started. “i feel like you were avoiding me recently, we barely saw each other. and each time you saw me, you pretended you didn’t when i know you did. and it fucking hurts, charles. i don’t know why. we agreed on something, you’re not forced to remain in this. we don’t have to do anything...i-i don’t know. maybe you don’t want to be my friend.” 

charles felt his heart breaking even more, he must have really fucked up for erik to get this emotional with him. “erik, no. of course i still want to be your friend. you’re the best friend i ever had. please don’t ever think i don’t want to see you anymore. it’s just...it’s complicated. i think we should stop the whole benefits part, it’s too hard. it’s pretty obvious none of us is dealing with it well.” erik looked properly wrecked and not tired wrecked now, you-just-tore-me-apart wrecked. charles couldn’t even stand to look at him, but he made the right choice. you didn’t have the benefits of the friends with benefits with someone you liked way more than a friend to do that. nevermind that he never felt this good with anyone or that he could recount each time he was with him perfectly. this had to stop. 

“is this how you really feel? i didn’t know it wasn’t good for you, i thought...i thought this was what you wanted.” charles was frowning “what i wanted?” erik took a deep breath “yes...when it happened the first time. you told me that it was okay, that it didn’t have to mean anything. then it happened again and we were way less drunk. and it became casual. and i thought this is what you wanted.” charles was frowning even harder if it was even possible. “it’s not about what i want, erik. you were always the one asking me where i was, we’re two in this. i didn’t initiate more than you did. i just...want to know what you mean.” he didn’t know why he was out of breath, probably the emotional weight of the last days and even the last weeks. it was falling on him, the exhaustion and the ache in his heart. “i feel like you’re blaming it on me, that i encouraged this and i want to end it now. and it’s not really what it’s all about.” charles finally dared to say.  
“that’s not what i meant, charles. you act differently that’s all. i don’t know what i did for you to get so distant. one minute, we are on each other and the next we act like we never even met. of course, this is hurting me. i kept on stressing emma out with this and you know how easily she gets annoyed. let me tell you she probably wants to kill me now. i just want for you to explain what’s happening so we can figure something out. so i can’t stop overthink this whole thing because this is killing me.” 

erik seemed as exhausted as charles was. and he felt guilty for that, if he had the courage to he honest. they wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. he took a deep breath. “i’m really sorry. i never wanted for you to feel left out. this...this isn’t working out for me. i got so into it, more than i should and i found myself in something that was hurting me. and it’s not your fault, not at all. but i didn’t know what to do. and every time i wanted to tell you the truth about how i felt, my voice got stuck and i couldn’t speak. i care about this friendship, more than anything. that’s why i didn’t want to ruin it. i don’t want to lose what we have, i just don’t think this whole sex thing is working for us.” charles said with a soft smile as to not let his emotions win over what he needed to say. but it didn’t help erik, in fact he looked even sadder. 

“so the last weeks were a mistake to you?” and he instantly felt bad for not being able to really talk about his feelings. “it’s not what i meant, erik...” but he was already standing up, looking completely broken and lost “perhaps i should leave. i understand it’s okay.” but charles was holding his hand, looking at him with the longing he wasn’t able to put into words. “stay. it’s late and your clothes are soaked and it’s still raining. i don’t want you to get sick. stay and if you never want to talk to me again, it’s...it’s okay. just stay, please.” erik scoffed at that but it wasn’t mean, it was almost frenzied. “that’s what you think? that i don’t want to talk to you anymore?” 

charles found himself voiceless at that. “i don’t...i don’t know.” he was about to cry but didn’t want to let go of the tears, he wasn’t going to act like a spoilt kid, he didn’t really cry all that much when he was a kid but now he could cry entire rivers of tears. erik seemed to notice. he got closer and on his knees and hold both of charles’ hands “charles, it’s okay. i’ll stay. we will always be friends i promise. if you never want to talk about the whole benefits moment, we will never talk about it. can i be really honest with you?” charles only nodded. “it was too hard for me, i mean the sex was great. the best i ever had. but i care too much about you for it to be casual.” charles was dumbfounded, he could barely speak “y-you care too much?” erik smiled brightly at him “yes, it was never just casual for me. if anything it made me realise i loved you more than just a friend. i guess, i always knew. i never wanted to admit it to myself, that’s all. and maybe this is going to ruin the friendship but i know you will always be my friend no matter what, that’s all that matters to me. i am tired of lying mostly to myself. i wanted you to know.” 

charles could laugh at how utterly stupid they both were. they made quite a team of bloody idiots “erik, we feel the same way. i didn’t talk to you for ten days because i was crying over you and how pathetically in love i was with you. but i guess we were on the same boat all along, we were just too stupid to see it.” erik was giving him the brightest smile he’d ever seen “you’re in love with me?” and charles just answered like it was the simplest thing to say, at last “of course i am. it feels good to finally say it.” erik just laughed “well, it certainly feels good to hear it.” then a few seconds later, looking deep into his eyes “i love you. so much.” charles felt like crying, in fact he did shed a few tears as he replied “i love you too.” and soon enough erik was holding him, kissing the tears away and saying with a soft laugh “i really hope this isn’t a dream, i’m going to get so mad at my subconscious if it is.” charles laughed, his eyes bright with tears “you don’t want me to pinch you, do you?” erik replied cheekily “no, but you could kiss me. just to be sure.” that made charles smile suggestively “i would be happy to help, then.” 

and so he did, he kissed him softly, putting the amount of love he felt for this man into it. and it was every bit as wonderful as it could be. erik felt like everything he ever wanted. and it was his now. not a sex arrangement or a friendship that felt like something more. they told each other they were in love. “perhaps, we should move to my room. i’d really like to sleep with you holding me. i think we both need the rest and the embrace.” charles said as he stopped the kiss. “that we do, i need to hold you for at least a week straight.” charles caressed his face “that sounds like a good plan. come on!” he said as he got up to his room, erik holding his hand following him with a permanent smile on his face. they got to charles’ bed, bellow the linens and held each other. charles fell asleep thinking he never felt so happy and at peace with everything.


End file.
